True Colours Are Dark
by Panic and Paine
Summary: Roxas had the perfect life, he was popular, he had the best of friends and was seen by everyone. But he has a secret past, enjoys things that aren't acceptable by his friends. Can he let his true colours shine through? Akuroku


Roxas yawned as Sora pulled into the car park of the school. The first day back from the summer holidays and he was already hating school. Then again, as his twin constantly pointed out, he said he hated it everyday. It made everyone wonder why he bothered staying for sixth form. It was another two years of hell for him and everyone on his bad side. It was a good thing most people tried to stay on his good side really.

Sora and him were part of the 'socially acceptable' crowd in their school. They were the populars, the ones who everyone wanted to be. Except one group. They were the group whom the socially elite hated the most, got into fights the most with. They constantly threw glares and smirks at them, calling out 'losers' and 'freaks'. Said group mainly consisted of emos and one very pretty artist, who made the unfortunate decision to hang out with _their_ group on her first day.

Roxas and his friends acted above them, mostly because they were. Their families were well respected, well paid and well known. Sora and Roxas were the same, their father one of the judges in Twilight Town Court, the only difference was their father refused to pay for their indulgences. This was the reason why Roxas had an iPhone, while Sora didn't. Roxas took the hint the first time their father said no to buying them things and went out to get a job. Sora on the other hand, not quite as quick as Roxas, had to be told bluntly to get a job or have no money. It wasn't long before Sora made their father crack and kept having weekly income, but not enough to save and but an iPhone with.

Roxas glanced at his twin, cerulean eyes meeting their twin copies, in a way that could only be described as a beg. Sora simply shook his head in answer, brown hair flying everywhere after he refused to have a haircut.. Roxas was going to have to suffer the first day of school along with all the rest of them.

Sighing dramatically, Roxas heaved himself out of the car, only to be tackled instantly by a mass of dirty blonde hair and turquoise blue eyes. He groaned as they fell on the tarmac, then tried to pry Demyx off him. Easier said than done.

Laughing filled Roxas' ears before Sora and Hayner pulled him off. Roxas accepted Cloud's hand up, smiling gratefully at his cousin. Hayner threw his arm over Roxas' shoulder and he guffawed with his best friend. They waved as Leon pulled up with Aerith and Seifer, Kairi and Selphie parking next to them.

Roxas did the usual greetings, shouting hi and asking how everyone was, swapping a few stories about their holidays, before he excused himself and set off towards the school. No one stopped him. His first lesson was art, and while it fell into the category of subjects that weren't acceptable among their group, he couldn't change his option now.

Roxas sighed as he reached the building. He was happy to be back with his friends, but the feeling came back every time he was with them, the feeling of not quite fitting in. Sure, he didn't show how different he was to his friends, but only because he knew how to act. It was best for everyone this way, if he kept pretending, acting, lying to them. It's not like he could go where he felt he belonged. They would never accept him. He knew that for sure.

Roxas walked through the slowly filling building, making his way to the art department. He opened the classroom door, the room already full. He knew he should've gotten there earlier. If he had he could've gotten the seat he wanted, somewhere away from the only seat left in the small class. Walking up to the front desk, Roxas handed over the money and picked up the art supplies the school had ordered.

He growled as he spotted the only seat. Of all the people he had to sit next to, why him? That stupid red head scowled as he realised who was sitting next to him, then started complaining to the blonde in front of him. He green eyes pierced Roxas once more, before he turned his head away childishly.

Roxas contained his temper as he walked over to the only remaining seat. A silent agreement had passed between them in that second - that they would ignore each other all year. The somewhat truce would've lasted as well, if Roxas hadn't caught his foot on the bag of the black haired girl sitting next to the blonde.

Roxas managed to grab the edge of the table in time, dropping all his equipment. At least that way he might not end up with paint all over his checked shirt. It was new after all, and his father actually approved of it. Made his look more like a civilian than a hooligan, his father had said.

"You did that on purpose," Axle growled, starting to rise to his feet.

Roxas scowled at him before bending down to pick up his art supplies and push Xion's bag under her desk. She apologized quietly, only Roxas heard her. He gave her a slight nod that no one else noticed. Probably because no one else would be expecting it.

Roxas gathered everything onto his side of the desk, trying to push his temper down so it didn't get out of hand.

"If I was going to do that on purpose, I would've at least kicked it across the room," he replied icily. He slid into his seat, eyes fixed on the front of the class. "Besides, even if I had tripped over on purpose, why the hell would I want to get paint on myself. I had standards, paint splatter doesn't register."

"You're so full of yourself, aren't you? You think you're all that, with your perfect life, happy family. Well, guess what? You're not," Axel replied heatedly. He would've continued if the teacher hadn't called for their attention.

Roxas glared at the table, not really listening. It was the same speech the teacher had said for the past five years at the beginning of each year - the do's and don'ts in the art room. He held his breath, and blinked quickly, making sure no one else noticed.

_What does he know? Ha! Like I have a perfect life. You don't know anything about me, so don't judge me. You wouldn't be nearly as strong as I am if you went through the same things that I have. No, you don't know anything. Nobody does. And I'm fine keeping it that way. I don't need people fussing over me, over the past._

Roxas looked up, tears gone, breathing normal. The teacher gave them a free lesson, because she 'trusted them to not do anything stupid'. Everyone knew she had recently broken up with her boyfriend, she was too clingy and needy, but no one mentioned anything.

Namine and Xion turned their chairs around to talk to Axel. They ignored Roxas, he hadn't expected them to talk to him. They were part of the emo group, the 'enemy' as Cloud put it, Namine being the only exception. She was always happy, wearing white and pastel colours. Today she was sporting white jeans and a peach coloured sweatshirt. Risky, considering they had art first lesson, and there was no guarantee that they wouldn't be doing anything.

Axel was wearing dark skinny jeans, dark jacket and a matching scarf that emphasised the colour of his eyes, made his hair more vibrant. Xion was wearing a dark purple dress, legging, boots and an assortment of bracelets, part of her hair held back by a colourful hair grip.

Roxas glanced up at her as her knee nudged his. She pulled her LG out of her bag, quickly typing a message. Roxas rummaged in his bag for his iPhone, managing to unlock it before the text set off the ringtone. He glanced at it and nearly shook his head, but stopped himself in time.

_r u alrite? Im sorry if he upset u he doesn't no_

Roxas quickly tapped a reply. It always amazed him how Xion managed to think of herself before anyone else. He never would've known either, if it weren't for his father's hint to get a job. It was a shocking coincidence they ended up working the same place. There had been a bit of shock and hostility at first, but they slowly became friends, but secretly. They didn't want to ruin both of there reputations.

_im fine don worry. No1 in ma group no so I don't expect him 2_

_im sorry, of course he don. btw tif wants us both down this sat, with the fair and all. the ghost rides nd horror films comin out attract customers after all __J_

_don worry ill b there, wearin a mask lol :P_

Xion chuckled as I tried to make the conversation more cheerful. She simply shook her head as Axel and Namine gave her a questioning look. Roxas held back a laugh, only because it would look odd and insinuate more insults to be thrown his way. They texted for a few more minutes, Roxas was just happy he could be himself around Xion, even if they weren't actually talking. She made him happy, and he could tell her anything that he couldn't tell Sora. She probably knew him better than some of his friends. Roxas read her more recent text and couldn't stop himself from snorting in laughter.

"Texting your boyfriend?" Axel taunted, trying to provoke Roxas.

Roxas was too happy at that moment though, acting like his true self, to be annoyed. He should have been more alert then, he knew that, with none of his friends in the class, he was basically isolated. But Xion stopped his alertness, made him feel relaxed and normal.

"I wish," he chuckled, then froze.

Axel was gaping at his reply. Namine was staring at him questioningly, while Xion's face turned panicky. Roxas reflected her panic internally, trying to think up something quickly, but the seconds were ticking by. By the time he had thought of an excuse for his slip it was already too late, too much time had passed to take back what had been said.

Only Xion knew that Roxas had no preference to the opposite gender. He hadn't confined in any of his other friends, not even Sora. It was something he was willing to go to the grave with. No, he had to go to the grave with that secret. Being gay was not socially acceptable, not among his friends. They were homophobic, apart from Sora, but he didn't count in Roxas' opinion. Sora was oblivious to most of the world around him, but of he knew he'd be disgusted as well. That was how Roxas felt. He was disgusted at himself for how he felt, and a few years ago it made him depressed. Roxas pushed those thoughts back then, not wanting to relive his haunting memories.

Roxas quickly grabbed his bag and art equipment, ignoring his panic and let his nervousness take control. He needed to get out of there, before they start asking questions, before they could make it out as true. He hoped they wouldn't tell anyone about his slip, but that was impossible. It would spread through their group like wildfire, then move onto the goths, the punks and keep going until his friends found out. What would happen then? What would they say, how would they act? Would they ignore him? If was bound to happen. They wouldn't be able accept him if he was like that.

Putting himself on auto pilot he navigated himself to the front of the class. He tried to steady his breathing, it was coming in short, shallow gasps. Not now. He couldn't fall apart now. Forcing himself to calm down, he approached the teacher, who was taking large gulps from a metal container.

"Can I go to reception? I need to pick up my locker key and grab my books for my next class," he said quietly. Quiet was good, it hid the emotions in his voice, hid his nervousness, his panic.

The teacher looked up slowly, eyes slightly unfocused, the strong smell of vodka stinging his nostrils. She seemed to be debating with herself, a face she had perfected for when she was out of it, but he knew she was trying to grasp what he had said. Slowly, and a bit uncertainly, she nodded, not talking, that would only betray her dirty little secret. Her drinking problem was known by all the pupils in the school, but by none of the teachers. She always managed to sober up before her class was inspected or if she had to talk to another teacher. She was one of a kind.

Roxas quickly grabbed his stuff and all but ran out of the class. He could feel the stares of the rest of the class on him, fourteen pairs of eyes on him as he walked away, quickly and with purpose.

As soon as Roxas was out of sight of the door he ran. He sped along the corridor, breathing sharper, shallower. His sight was slowly being blurred, and by the time he had burst in to the toilets tears were running down his face. His deepest secret, the one he had buried deep down and protected the most, the one that could ruin him completely, had just been let out. It wasn't the fact that someone had found out, it was the fact that that bastard called Axel found out. It was the fact that someone he hated knew his secret, and he could spread it, he could ruin Roxas' perfect image in seconds.

Roxas dropped all his stuff and walked over to the sink, splashing his face with water. This was no good. He hadn't broken down in so long. He was breaking his promise to be strong, be strong for Sora, for his father. They had suffered so much, they didn't need to worry about him as well.

Rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, he glanced up in the mirror. His eyes were red, he looked a mess. Misery was written all over his face. He shook his head. Now was not the time to be like this. He had to pull himself together, needed to think up an excuse before the gossip spread. No doubt they would hear about him leaving his art class early. He could easily explain that by saying he was sat next to Axel, but that would start a fight and he didn't feel like ending up in detention on the first day.

He groaned. Why had he decided to come back? He hated school, he hated the people in it and he hated what everyone thought about him. They all thought they knew him, exactly who and what he liked, didn't like. It drove him crazy the things people talked about with him. He never said anything though - not when Kairi talked about her love-life, when Olette talked about make up, when Cloud and Hayner tried to talk about football with me or when Demyx doesn't stop rambling about music.

Demyx didn't take the subject though, it was unacceptable in their group. Just like art and history. The only reason Roxas had taken both the latter subjects was to annoy Cloud. They hadn't been getting along during the time Roxas chose his options, Cloud saying Roxas was showing more angst, was being more moody and depressed. They argued, Cloud joking about him becoming emo. Roxas had stormed out of the house, gone to work with no where else to go and ignored everyone when he got back, refusing to answer questions.

Roxas sighed. He went back to that hellhole called school for Sora, because it's what all his friends were doing, what they had forced him to do. He was quite happy to drop out and work in any old shop in town. Still, he was back, so he had to try his hardest. He had to pass all his subjects with flying colours. Not that it was hard. With a brain like Roxas' anyone would be able to pass by doing nothing.

The next three lessons flew by quickly for Roxas, probably helped by the fact that his lesson after art was a free lesson. After his double biology lesson, Roxas headed to the canteen, completely lost in thought. He hated lunch, it was the time most fights started, the most insults were thrown, and although Roxas tried to ignore, he always felt like those insults were meant for him.

Roxas jumped when Hayner jumped on him, having not noticed him before. Hayner laughed loudly at his friends expression, before they launched into a conversation about their classes, teachers, classmates. Roxas made sure not to mention his art class, no doubt a start would fight immediately. It wasn't like Roxas didn't like fighting, oh no, he enjoyed too much, as a way to vent his anger and angst without being spotted. It was the punishment and bruises that he hated. Especially when his father started questioning him about them. Lying and acting had always been a speciality of his, but he never enjoyed lying to his father. It made him for lonely in a way.

As they entered the canteen they were met by loud music. Hayner growled as he heard the song, then turned to glare at their most hated group. Roxas sighed. At least the music they played now wasn't as bad as it had been, not as loud either, but only because the school had made a rule for it last year. To be honest, Roxas didn't even mind the music they played, he enjoyed it, but he never let anyone know that either. Only Xion knew. Although she knew everything.

"Why don't you shut the hell up?!" Hayner shouted. Axel flipped him off, which only added more fuel to Hayner's fire. Roxas managed to grab his arm and drag him towards their table at the opposite end of the canteen. Hayner relaxed more the further away from the emos they got.

They were greeted when they got to the table, Demyx's voice louder than all the rest, unnecessarily so. Roxas grinned, hoping it didn't look to forced, still trying to get over what happened this morning. He wasn't usually one to hold onto his emotions for long periods of time, but when anxiety got him he could never let it go. He knew at least one of them had heard about it, why wouldn't Axel spread it around that the perfect boy was gay? It just confused him as to why no one had mentioned it.

"Those pricks are starting to get on my nerves and the year's barely begun," Seifer growled.

"I get you man. They piss me off," Hayner agreed.

Roxas nodded absently, not really listening, not really caring. He kept thinking why those two talked to each other. They didn't like each other, not really, but no one else seemed to notice, no one else mentioned anything. Was everyone but Roxas really that oblivious to their secret rivalry? It looked like it.

In a way it amused Roxas, watching as people who disliked each other interacted as friends. He knew that if they went anywhere else, anywhere else in the world, probably none of these people who hang out together. They wouldn't have lost childhood friends, lost memories and freedom. Now whatever they did was watched and calculated by all those who aspired to be them, none of them could put a hair out of line, never mind a toe. Roxas was the only exception, known to have a furious temper, especially around _that_ time, and anything he did wrong was always covered up. It was like someone was trying to stop him from getting into the trouble he wanted to be in, wanted him to stop having fun.

Roxas barely noticed as Cloud slid into the seat next to him. He murmured 'hey', and tried to stop himself falling asleep on the table. He never said it out loud, not he wasn't exaggerating when he thought that the talk on their table was boring enough to put him to sleep. What would people think of them if one of their kind fell asleep in the canteen, surrounded by friends?

"So, Roxas. I heard you left your art class ten minutes after it started…" Cloud started. It had taken two seconds for the whole to quiet, everyone waiting to hear his response.

"Man, I told you, you shouldn't have taken that damn subject! We don't for a reason," Hayner grumbled. Roxas shook his head, not enjoying all the attention.

"It was one time, and we had a free lesson. 'Sides, the teach was completely out of it," Roxas answered coolly, hoping that'd be a good enough answer, but Cloud shook his head slightly.

"That wasn't answering the question Rox," Sora chimed in, smile spread across his face.

Roxas had to ignore the urge to glare or punch him in the face. Sora wasn't the most helpful at times, but he was who the blonde cared most about, who he had to protect the most. The stares were becoming too much, attention to tense for Roxas to handle. He hated being the top man, the one they all looked to, so he tried to be the middle man, not ignored, but not too much attention either.

Simply the blonde shrugged, searching for his bag under the table without anyone noticing. They weren't going to let him go until they got a decent answer. His fingers hooked around the strap of his bag, and he slid it towards him, shuffling back slightly on his seat.

"Well, you know," Roxas started slowly, rising from his seat slightly. "Being sat next to… Flynn and…his friends is, you know…um, not fun?"

By then Roxas was already out of his seat, turning away from the table and walking away. He had seen the anger in Hayner's eyes when he had mentioned Axel, he had felt the atmosphere tense, darken. Cloud had stiffened next to him, Leon growled, Kairi and Olette shared a look of disgust, Seifer had cursed, while Sora, Aerith, Demyx and Selphie just looked concerned. They all hated Axel with a large amount of passion, enough that even looking at him started a fight.

Roxas sighed internally, walking as fast as he could without drawing attention to himself. When Zack had been here things were easier to handle, the way he laughed, smiled and joked about everything. Less fights had occurred, and Roxas hadn't minded his group as much. Zack made it bearable, made it interesting enough for the blonde to stay and make bonds which stopped him from leaving.

As Roxas walked towards the doors, he slipped his hand into his pocket, frowning slightly. The cool smooth object was not there, only a hole which made him worry. How had it slipped through without him noticing? Well, he had been caught up in his thoughts all day. There wasn't much he could do now anyway. If it was found, it was his reputation at stake. He would've been able to leave it as well, if it weren't for the teachers, who seemed to enjoy giving up lunch time to scream at students.

"Who's pen knife is this?" one of said teachers screeched.

Roxas winced and froze at the same time. His eyes widened as he realised he had stopped walking, stopped in front of the emos table. He could feel their eyes on him, questioning, wondering. He could feel the concern that Xion's stare gave. Only a few more steps and he was gone from this place, no one would have the time to see him frozen in place, no one could guess the knife was his. He needed those stares to stop.

Roxas felt the concerned stare slowly pull away. He forced himself to breath. If he moved the stares would stop, he knew that, it always worked, but he couldn't. He could feel more stares turning his way, panic starting to take over him. _Move_, he told himself. _Move now, before anymore happens._

Slowly, Roxas turned back, facing the teacher holding up the pen knife. She hadn't opened it, thank God, but the outside was black, white swirls decorating it in what could be described as beautifully haunting. _His _pen knife. The one that had dropped out of his pocket without knowing, the one with his name engraved on the blade.

"Hmph, look. He's getting ready to watch someone get in trouble. Typical," Axel said. There was nothing teasing in his voice, just plain disgust that he thought Roxas was happy seeing other people get shouted at.

Roxas felt a few of the stares turn into glares, and out of the corner of his eye he saw a couple of the emos check their pockets just in case. The hawk-eyes teacher gave the canteen another sweep, eyes resting on the emos for half a second longer than everyone else.

"If no one claims this, we're leaving it to police matters," she announced. When everyone looked at her blankly she sighed. "They'll do a DNA test and it will be put on your criminal record."

Roxas sighed internally. Luckily he'd washed it recently, but he wasn't stupid enough to think that would be enough. He watched enough CSI to realise that, and he was constantly holding and feeling it, his fingerprints would be all over it. Ignoring all the stares, e began walking towards the teacher, slowly of course. He drew in a deep breath, praying his burst of courage wouldn't suddenly leave him.

"That's mine," he called, without even realising. His voice reached around the hall, a silent gasp ran all around. Axel choked on the pepsi he had taken a sip of, Hayner spat his out. His friends all had shocked expressions on their faces, Sora's the most shocked.

Roxas almost froze up at the attention he was getting. How badly he wanted to run, to get away from all the stares. He wanted them to stop, wanted them to leave him in peace so he could explain his excuse. But he knew it wasn't going to happen. The teacher was staring at him in disbelief, waiting for his explanation. Roxas swallowed.

"I've taken art, so I decided to do sculpting with clay. It's part of my project," he said vaguely. It was a lie, they wouldn't be starting their projects till later in the year, but it was better than nothing. There was no other excuse he could use without giving himself away.

The teacher looked at him dumbfounded, still not believing that the knife belonged to him, but she pulled herself together quickly, dropping the knife into his hand.

"Well, please don't bring it to school again. We will talk to the art department about other means for this," she said, voice shrill and stern. "It is a criminal offence to carry weapons. I'm going to need you to report through the main office for the rest of the week for inspection, Mr. McCartney."

Roxas simply nodded, placing the knife in the opposite pocket that he usually kept it in. He swallowed nervously, inconspicuously, before turning on his heel and walking out of the canteen, not noticing as Xion stood to follow him. He walked as fast as he could, away from those stares.

Footsteps sounded down the deserted corridor Roxas walked down. He glanced over his shoulder and stopped as he saw Xion. She stopped next, panting lightly after her run to catch up with his fast stride. She asked if he was OK, to which he answered with a shrug. Roxas had ophthalmophobia - a fear of being stared at. Xion smiled at him, hooking her arm through his as they began to walk. No one entered this block at lunch, it was said to be haunted. Of course, that was a rumour made up by Roxas to scare Sora in their second year. It had been taken seriously and had stayed for the past five years. To Roxas it meant he could wander without being disturbed, no one to interrupt him and point out that his group didn't mope, or isolate themselves.

It's just the way Roxas had always been though.

* * *

**This is what 3 sick days equals :L I hate being ill. I envy all you people who enjoy them. Oh well, school tomorrow :(**

Gah, I started to write another story. How could I abandon my other Akuroku fanfic so easily? Quite easily actually, I didn't like where it was going (or not going in that case). At least for this I have a sort of plan in mind. But I doubt I'll update soon :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did it would've never been finished in the first place XD I'm lazy :P


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